Chapter 7: could we go home?

When Jun awoke it wasn’t to his alarm or his cat screaming. In fact, he was warm and comfortable, in a way he hadn’t been in more years than he’d been in hiding, and woke up slowly. First he noted the tickle of fur against his neck, where Cheeseburger was snuggled against him, purring gently against his ear. Strong arms were wrapped around his waist, a face pressed against his chest. It was Juudai, of course, legs entwined with Jun’s under the many layers of the cocoon he’d made himself last night.

 

Surprisingly, he didn’t get the start of a racing heart nor the need to yell at him to mind his space, like he would have if this had happened when they were younger. Instead he kept his breathing even, burying his nose in Juudai’s hair. They’d spent a lot of the day with Juudai’s arms around him while he was in mental agony, so this was a change that soothed him. 

 

He glanced at his phone screen, holding in a groan when he realised he forgot to plug it in last night. He’d have to try and sneak his charger into work today and hope his boss didn’t notice him using one of their outlets. The man was annoyingly cheap with letting his employees do things that would cost him extra, even though he himself would use up a ton of electricity when it wasn’t needed. He had a good twenty minutes before his alarm went off, so he put it back down behind Juudai where he’d found it, and relaxed back into the embrace. He couldn’t see much of the other’s face from where it was buried against his chest, but he could hear the rumbles of his snores, feeling them against his body. It made him roll his eyes at the familiarity of that certain aspect of the situation, stifling a smile, even though no one was looking.

 

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Just shy of twenty minutes later, right before the alarm went off, Cheeseburger started to climb all over them, meowing loudly. Jun disentangled himself from Juudai before the man could wake up, turning the alarm off ahead of time and petting his cat as he stood up. He’d fallen asleep in his regular clothes, and grimaced at the stiffness of his body. Even if he’d been comfortable while sleeping, he always felt off in the mornings. That’s what happens when you’re not medically trained and have to heal three bullet wounds on your own.

 

He was in the middle of stretching when he noticed Juudai was looking at him, the brunette giving him a cheeky smile when he realised he’d been caught looking. “I like your bed hair.”

 

Jun rolled his eyes, and didn’t bother stifling any groans this time. “It’s too early for you to mess with me. I haven’t even had coffee yet.”

 

Juudai sat up, still smiling ear to ear. “I’m not messing with you, I mean it. It’s cute.” Jun felt his cheeks heat up, and he turned his back to him to go give Cheeseburger her well deserved wet food.

 

“If you want any breakfast you better get your ass out of bed in the next thirty seconds.”

 

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Jun left Juudai in his apartment, handing him the spare key this time. The last time he’d let anyone have it hadn’t gone so well (that cheating ex came to mind), but he highly doubted Juudai would do anything like that, especially not right now. Bring anyone over to sleep with, not cheating, since they weren’t together. Even if his old crush had decided to rear its ugly head after all these years.

 

He spent the first few hours at work alone, managing to charge his phone fully before his boss arrived to do whatever the hell he did in the back room no one was allowed to bother him in when he was there. It was just an office, but it was strictly forbidden to enter when the owner was there. Whatever. He had his mind filled with thoughts on what to even say to Fubuki, and what to do now. If everything was going to come out, there was no way he was staying here. He should quit his job here, but at the same time, it was a safety to have it. He knew there was no way he would get an extended amount of time off though, not when he wouldn’t be able to tell his boss why he needed it. He knew that in the end, he needed to quit. Not that it was a hard decision to make, considering how much he hated it here.

 

The thought of leaving his apartment was harder though. It was the first place he’d gotten on his own, and he cared for it even if it was shitty, rundown and owned by a shady landlady. But he knew he couldn’t stay in this town for much longer. Now that he was in contact with people from his past, and they were going to enter his life again, he longed to be back with them even more than he had before. Not all of them lived in the same city, but he knew at least Asuka, Ryo and Fubuki lived close to each other, what with business enterprises and marriages and what not. He didn’t know where Juudai lived when he wasn’t travelling, but he knew Kenzan and Sho were roommates and lived somewhere that wasn’t too far away from Asuka, given how often Sho updated instagram where he was hanging out with her. They seemed to have gotten really close after high school, but it didn’t seem like they were dating. If anything, Sho might actually have something going on with Kenzan, which feels weird but isn’t extremely surprising if he got it right.

 

On to the matter at hand though… given that he had no proper contract for either apartment nor job, moving out and quitting wouldn’t come with a lot of stipulations. They didn’t have any bank account to automatically charge him with, nor did they know his real name to try to find one any time soon. If things went badly, he’d be dead for real anyway.

 

Should he even bother to write a letter of resignation or was it enough to just tell the owner that he was quitting? He didn’t want to leave the rest of the staff to just get sudden shifts out of nowhere though (he had learned some consideration after working a job like this) so he would at least finish the shifts he’d already been scheduled for. Which, he realised, was only two more days, since the owner liked keeping them on their toed anyway. So, that left him with two more shifts at this place, and a lot to plan. The next time he saw the owner he’d make sure to talk to him.

 

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Turns out there were no more shifts to work, because the owner’s response to Jun’s “I need to quit” was a prompt “you can’t quit, you’re fired!” It truly felt like something his brothers would say. He’d been told to finish his shift and never come back again. He doubted he’d get his last paycheck at this point. Well. The last letter with cash in it, anyway. What a control freak. He’d probably crash and burn some day.

 

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When he got off work, he knew he needed to call Fubuki. He still didn’t have a clue as to what to tell him, but the longer he waited, the harder it would get. It gave him enough anxiety as it was. He didn’t want to have Juudai hearing him right now, the pressure would feel too much even if the other didn’t do anything. So he settled down on a far off bench in the nearby park, in an as secluded part as he could get. With a shivering hand, he hit the call button on Fubuki’s entry in the contact list.

 

The dial tone sounded twice before he heard Fubuki’s voice with a cheerful “ hi, you’re talking to Fubuki! ”

 

“Uh… hey, it’s me, um, Jun.” They had never been on a first name basis, but his first name was less risky to say in public than his last name, so he stuck with it for now. His anxiety was overwhelming.

 

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The sound of the phone startled Fubuki, and when he looked at it from where he was bugging Ryo in his husband’s office, it was from a number he didn’t recognise. He hoped it was Jun, but he had no way of knowing if it was, so he answered it the way he always did, leaning against the back of Ryo’s desk chair, where the blue haired man was typing on his computer. “Hi, you’re talking to Fubuki!”

 

For a few seconds there was nothing but silence, until he was met with a familiar voice he hadn’t heard in years. “Uh… hey, it’s me, um, Jun.” He sounded way more insecure than Fubuki had ever heard him, but he recognised his voice immediately. For a while, everything he’d planned to say when they were finally back in contact flew right out of the window, and he couldn’t remember any of it. He had to stop himself from word vomiting all over, and he walked over to the couch he had made Ryo put into the room, covering his face with his free hand. He could feel Ryo’s eyes on him as the typing stopped, and Fubuki gave him a soft smile, then tuned into the call. “I… hey, I wasn’t sure you were gonna call. I’ve missed you.”

 

Thoughts were spinning through his head, and he nodded and squeezed Ryo’s hand as his husband whispered a quiet ‘I’ll give you the room’. Clearly he had figured out who was calling, and wanted to give them both room to talk without interruption. Ryo had known for years how saddened Fubuki had been by Jun pulling away from him, and it had been a shock for both of them to find out the truth last night. He wanted to give his spouse the time to talk to Jun on his own. Fubuki knew he would probably find him in Asuka’s office nearby once the call ended.

 

“...I’ve missed you too,” came the quiet reply on the other end of the call. “I don’t know how much Tenjouin-kun told you, but I guess you know why I, uh, didn’t talk to you for so long.”

 

Fubuki nodded, like they were face to face, before he remembered himself. “Yeah, she told me everything you’ve told her. I still can’t believe your brothers would do something like that. I would never even think of doing that to Asuka. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” His heart ached when he thought of his relationship with his younger sister. It was unimaginable to him that someone would ever come up with the idea to try to murder their own sibling. It made him want to cry, and find the assholes and slam his fist in their faces. And he really wasn’t a violent person. But this… it was horrible. He felt his eyes grow hot and his throat tighten, so he looked up at the ceiling to try and stop the oncoming tears for at least a little while longer.

 

Clearly, Jun didn’t know how to respond to that, as he replied; “I’m sorry I missed your wedding. I really wanted to be there.”

 

The tears couldn’t be stopped any longer, and he covered his mouth as he sobbed, though clearly Jun still caught it. “I, uh, I’m sorry, I-”

 

“It’s not your fault. Please don’t feel guilty for missing it, none of that was your fault. I get it now, I don’t blame you for it. I just… I’ll do anything to help you be able to come back. We’ll put them in prison, or, or, whatever you want to do. I just wanna-” He cut himself off with a sobbing hiccup, taking a moment to swallow the thick saliva building up in his throat. “I just wanna give you a hug so bad right now.”

 

He could hear silent sobs on the other end, and though Jun was better at stifling it, it still carried through. “I want to come see you… all of you, just, I, I’ll come back, I really want to come back… I promise I’ll be back soon.”

 

Fubuki felt bad that Jun had to reassure him right now when it should be the other way around, and he hugged himself where he sat, pressing his forehead against his knees. “I’ll- I’ll look forward to it. I can’t wait to see you again.”

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