He is drowning.

He is sinking and there is no one near to help. Not that he has anyone to call out to, even if the sound of his voice could carry to the surface of the water, that seems so far away.

He can't see the light anymore. Looking up, everything is dark and colourless, the lack of air specking his vision with black. It's a crushing feeling, and his mind travels to what he has to live for. His partner is gone, has forgotten he even exists. His family thew him away after a certain incident he doesn't want to remember at a time like this, but he's forced there anyway, by the cruelty of self-turture.

He doesn't want this. But his arms are too heavy, and his legs too tired. They can't even move, and he knows that this is the end. The pressure is getting higher as he sinks, and the black increases around the edges of his vision, making him see less and less. There's nothing left to fight for. With a simple yet too complicated injury, he was unable to play for the team anymore, and it breaks his heart to see them doing so well without him.

His biggest regret is not telling Midorima how he feels. How he's always felt. But that is too late now. And he has already lost him anyway, to someone else. To someone he doesn't even dare compete with, because he knows he will lose. It's a bad thing to give up, he knows this, but he ca't help it any more. He feels so helpless whenever he sees his former partner smile at that person that isn't him, when his beloved Shin-chan looks so utterly happy with someone else.

He has nothing to live for anymore. And he doesn't know how to handle such a thing any longer, doesn't know what to do to change and make it better. He knows it's the only way to break this downward spiral, but he doesn't have the will to fight anymore. He's been struggling to keep up a happy face and a positive facade, and he's run out of energy a long time ago. The thought of finally getting to rest is a welcome one, even if it comes in the most horrible of ways.

If this is how it is going to end, maybe it isn't so bad after all.

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